Saturday, November 13, 2010

Skeleton in the Closet

Being back in Alpine presents one major skeleton
that resides in my closet.

There are so many great memories here at my parents house.
But there are also a hideously large amount of bad ones.

I don't think I've said this to many people
unless you are really close to me.
But just making the drive to Alpine
for most of my adult life,
would make me physically sick.

I would have to build up the guts to even consider coming for a visit. 
Not because of my family, or anything they represented. 
But more for the other people and what growing up here was like for me.  
There are a hundreds of wonderful people in this city.
 I think life can easily be defined of good people and not so good people.  
A lot of these people from my childhood have changed, I'm sure. 
They know who they are. And some may still not know that they were the bully
But the cruel things kids do to each other, and the way one individual can be picked on relentlessly, should be a crime. 

While living here I am quickly trying to erase all of those mean things people did to me down here, and remove the bad feelings I have about this place. 
Its a difficult project but lucky for me I have 2 great reasons to push me through it. 

I pray that the neighbors that used to bully me
and those in my school that would come up and cut off my hair 
while I was digging in my locker
or the kids that told me I wasn't welcome at their party
are different now.
That they aren't teasing people
or making others feel smaller than they are.

5 comments:

David and Taryn said...

Sed ~ I can't believe anyone would ever want to bully YOU. You are the sweetest person in the entire world! (Seriously!) I'm so sorry that you had to go through those experiences. There are people that I grew up too that I could care less if I ever see them again because of the way they treated me. But you are so right that the only people that really matter are the ones we love and live for.

The Ellis Fam said...

I loved Alpine and hated Alpine too. I have friends that tell me how they wish they could go back to high school and things and I think to myself, "Hell NO!" I wanted to badly to leave that town to get away from those faces, and when I finally graduated and went of to Snow it ended up that many of them followed me there. No one ever cut my hair but I remember being on the bus and some girls sitting in front of me, taunting me, saying over and over, "Hey Loser, loser, Hey loser, don't you know I'm talking to you loser, LOSER, hey loser..." I walked home crying. Scars like that never go away but they sure make you stronger. I'm glad that we got out of high school. If it means anything to you, I always thought you looked like Areal with your red hair and light, perfect complexion and big beautiful smile. But better then her because I remember you having such sexy legs. It's been awhile but especially from hearing your workouts I'm sure you still have them. And Carter is getting cuter and cuter, if that were possible.

Jullee and Fam said...

Those jerks! I'm sure I hated them in HS also. Unless I was one of them and then it doesn't count ;)

Kiki (kristen) B said...

I'm glad you posted this. I had the same experience growing up in Alpine. My sister and I were relentlessly teased and bullied our whole lives and have no love for the majority of people there. We couldn't wait to get out and meet new people and make real friends. When I tell someone I'm from Alpine, they assume I'm a spoiled snotty rich kid because that's what Alpine mostly produces.

However, it is so wonderful to see the best people like you succeeding in life and and having your own happy family :)

Edra Davidson said...

I am deeply touched by your comments! After I posted I sat there and thought seriously of deleting the post. Mostly because I felt like I should have been a bigger person in just letting the past go and moving on from it. I see now that there are quite a few more people out there that feel the same exact way as I do.
I can't lie, I feel relief. Its a shame that so many of the people we grew up with felt that it was "ok" to treat others this way.
Taryn- You are wonderful for saying what you said. I adore you.
Caroline- Your words made me smile more than ever! I really appreciate the sexy leg comment too. :)
Jullee- You make me laugh so so hard.
Kiki- I am hurting for you and your sister. I wish I was there to have stood up for you.