Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Chaos

Does your life ever feel as if its completely absorbed by chaos? 
Mine does. I love it. I fear it. All at the same time.
Carter gets his glasses later this week. I can't tell you how much guilt I feel over it. I know I could have prevented his eye sight deteriorating. And knowing that I could have prevented it, breaks my heart. When I visited an eye doctor down in Alabama to get my yearly fix of contacts, the eye doctor told me that I should have my sons eyes checked between his 1 yr birthday and 18 months. She said that it was important to have his eyes checked to confirm if there were any visual issues he might have that we weren't aware of. 
Did I listen? No. I didn't. And now I regret every day of those 6 months that I didn't do anything about it.

Looking back at photos I see a few times when there was a slight shift. But its so minor that unless you are looking for it, you would have never been able to tell. Granted we have caught it early enough that he hasn't lost sight in any of his eyes, nor has he been told its un-repairable. But if you knew you could prevent your child from getting hurt or having people give him weird looks and then look at you like you're a bad parent, would you prevent it? I hope the answer would be, "Of course!" 

Thankfully Ed listens to me when I say I'm about to unhinge myself with all the things that are going on over this week. He took Thursday off to help save me from what may be a painful day with Carter adjusting to having glasses and helping him not see double vision. I honestly don't know how this child has handled seeing two of everything for 2 weeks. When he looks at me he stares for a few seconds trying his hardest to pull his eyes straight. He amazes me. What a great little boy he is. 

Please don't get me wrong. There are so many worse conditions or situations we could find ourselves in. Struggling eyesight by all means is not one of those worst. I think the best way to describe what its like for us is it caught us off guard. Extremely off guard. 

With all the chaos that this week presents, I'm going to sit here, enjoy my homemade pizza I made and relax with my family. 




1 comment:

Colleen Santos Realty said...

From your blog entry today it appears you are being a "normal" Mom honey. We try to fix it all....all of the time. I am so grateful that you are Carter's Mom becasue I can't imagine anyone that would love and be so dedicated to his success in this life. Keep looking forward. You are never alone when you hit the bumpy roads of life. I am so impresssed with you as a parent. Thanks for being you! Love you, Mom